


Different This Time

by carterhack



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Love, M/M, Pining, canonverse, cyrus starts to fall in love with jonah but he doesn't even realize it, my boy is in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 12:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15534102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carterhack/pseuds/carterhack
Summary: Cyrus's thoughts during Keep A Lid On It





	Different This Time

Cyrus’s crush on Jonah has been feeling a lot different lately. He’s never had a crush before, so he wasn’t sure how he was feeling or why. He did know it felt _different_ to be around the eccentric frisbee loving boy. It first started feeling slightly different at the Space Otters party when Jonah had given Cyrus the jersey. Normally, when he was around Jonah, he felt this slight sense of anxiousness. His heart would race endlessly. badum! badum! badum! However, when he hugged him on that stage, he felt a sense of calmness. Not completely, but enough for him to realize it. Still, he didn’t think too much of it then. That night was a rollercoaster of emotions. At least now he knew that Jonah thought he was important. He was an asset to the Space Otters.

So, of course, even months later, Cyrus attended the ultimate tryouts. He knew Jonah would need someone there, and he just wanted to be there. He’d do anything for Jonah. He didn’t entirely understand that. It’s been months since the Space Otters party. It felt like years ago. Years since he started this brand new feeling towards Jonah Beck. He didn’t know what to call it, but he did know it was different than before. When he was around Jonah now he was calmer. More relaxed. There was no anxiety. No heart pounding. When he was around Jonah his heart was normal. badum. badum. badum.

There was still something, though. Something warm. He had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t quite find the name for. He wanted to be around Jonah. Even though he wasn’t sure he even had a crush anymore, he still thought about Jonah as soon as he woke up in the morning and right as he fell asleep. It was different. It was new.

That new feeling stuck through out the day as he watch Jonah play frisbee. It was nice to be able to watch Jonah play frisbee. Not in a creepy way. He just loved how confident Jonah was when he was playing. It made Cyrus’s heart feel heavy and he couldn’t help smiling the entire time.

Afterwards, they had gone to the Spoon. It was a nice walk there. Their shoulders bumped together. He didn’t feel any butterflies, but he did feel happy. Undeniably happy.

When they got inside, Jonah was anxious about whether me made it or not. Checking his phone over and over. Cyrus wished he could help him. He couldn’t stand seeing Jonah look so upset and anxious. He didn’t understand how Jonah couldn’t see he was literally one of the best people to ever be alive.

They waited together. After the text from Buffy, Jonah had gotten the email. He was quick to open it. He was scared. Cyrus wasn’t. He knew Jonah made the team. Sure, he wasn’t the best player, but he was amazing. He was confident and happy and he looked like he was made to be on that field.

Then he didn’t make it. Upon seeing Jonah’s crushed faced, Cyrus felt the sudden urge of anger. How is anyone able to make Jonah upset? Jonah didn’t deserve to ever be upset. He ranted. Jonah told him that it could be a good thing. Cyrus relaxed. Jonah was the most committed person he knew. He knew that if Jonah put his mind to it, he would be able to make that team.

“Thanks for being there I’m glad to have you as a friend.”

Those words. For some reason the words left a weird taste in Cyrus’s mouth. He wasn’t sure why. Him and Jonah  _were_  friends. Cyrus had always known that. It’s not like he thought they were more. He had known early on that his crush on Jonah was completely one-sided. He had no right to feel upset over that word.

“We’re both lucky.”

 

* * *

 

 

When they arrived at Andi’s, Cyrus felt wary. He wasn’t sure how this would play out. Sure, he had watched Andi and Jonah literally kiss. He shouldn’t be have to feel weird everytime he hung out with the two of them. They were together. It was fine.

He didn’t think it was going to be fine when Buffy had said Andi and Jonah needed to talk alone. He was waiting for the jealousy train to hit as soon as they looked out the window. But he didn’t. All he saw was Jonah smiling. Jonah being happy. Jonah smiling the biggest smile, happy that he had a girlfriend. Cyrus was.. happy. He was happy that Jonah Beck was happy. Lately Jonah had been so down and Cyrus couldn’t stop thinking about how he wished Jonah could be all the time. He wizhed Jonah could feel that strong warmth and happiness that Jonah always makes him feel. He told Buffy he was happy for them. She asked him about it.

“My crush on Jonah,” He paused.

He felt a weird mix of emotion. He knew things were different. He traded his anxiousness and butterflies for happiness and warm. He traded feeling jealous to feeling happy that at least Jonah was happy. Sure, he still felt weird that Jonah called him a friend. He still didn’t entirely like the fact that Jonah was smiling like that at Andi and not him. That didn’t matter. The feelings were different. Everything was changing. Everything was different this time.

“Its gone.”

 


End file.
